Doing the Groundwork
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized just how important self awareness is to the process of becoming a well rounded and emotionally healthy adult. There is so much emphasis put on recognizing the red flags in other people and we often fail to forget to check ourselves and the behaviours we are exhibiting that contribute to the people we gravitate towards and the situations we find ourselves in. I can agree that most people suck and life can be cruel and unfair in ways that we don't deserve, there is definitely no debating that. However, there is power in realizing that sometimes the problem is you and being willing to acknowledge that and do the work to be better the next time. I believe that the ability to call ourselves out and take responsibility for yourself is the main difference between maturing and just getting older.
Do you really believe you can move into the next stage of your life, no matter what that may be, without having mastered the art of looking inward? How can you expect a promotion without first asking yourself if you actually have done the work and yielded the results to deserve it? Do you really want to meet the person of your dreams before first becoming the best version of yourself and asking yourself the hard questions about how you could’ve been better in your previous relationships? The next time you are pondering over your life and the things you’ve been through, remove yourself from the scenario as just the victim. Think about how you could’ve been better, what you can do next time, how you would’ve reacted to your words or behavior if you were in the other person's shoes. If you need help doing this, look into finding a therapist or begin journaling your experiences so that you can go back and evaluate them through a different lens. I truly believe that the answer to every question in our lives can be found within, we just have to do the groundwork to find it.