Money Makes Me Masculine?

I was scrolling through Twitter recently and stumbled across a thread breaking down how women today are “too independent,” and it comes off as “masculine and unattractive” to the average man. As a woman who makes pretty good money, pays my own bills, and spoils myself on the regular, this thought process is pretty laughable. Why is financial security a masculine trait in 2021? In my opinion, it is a huge sign of insecurity to be turned off by the fact that a woman, or anyone for that matter, doesn’t need you for survival. Although women couldn’t have their own bank accounts until the 1960s, we are living in a new world now. We are getting to the bag too and aren’t ashamed about it, read it and weep.

It seems that women, especially Black women, are criticized no matter where we fall on the financial ladder. If we make our own money and don’t need anyone, male or female, to help us make ends meet, we are “too independent.” If we struggle here and there and sometimes need the support of a partner, or are vocal about wanting our partner to spoil us, we are looked at as “broke” and as “gold diggers.” As someone who has always had a “type A” personality and works every day toward elevating myself to the next level, I don’t have the time to even consider downplaying myself and my achievements for anyone. I have no problem being “masculine” or “unattractive” to a man whose masculinity is contingent upon how much money I have or where I am in my career journey in comparison to his own.

For all of my ladies who have big boss dreams and are climbing the ladder of success, never be ashamed of your drive or your wallet, it doesn’t make you any less soft or any less feminine, period.

-Aleisha Baker