“Girl, when are you having kids?”
If you are a woman in your mid 20s-mid 30s, you probably hear this question at every family event, whenever you stop by your grandmother’s house, or maybe even when you're just chatting with your co-workers about their own families while waiting for the next Zoom meeting to start. It can be extremely frustrating to be constantly reminded that you aren’t following the timeline that society expects of you, especially if you're someone who may not even want kids! It's even worse if you are someone that wants a family but just hasn't found the right person yet, you don’t feel like you are in a good position to bring a child into this world or if you physically cannot have children. There are so many factors that go into deciding to have children and to be quite honest, it really isn’t anyone's business if and when you decide you are ready to do so. People seem to forget how rude it is to ask such a personal question that has to do with your health, your finances, where you are in your life journey and your relationships!
When considering if you want to have children, women have to consider so much more beyond the initial thought of loving the smell of babies and how cute they look in their little clothes. How will this affect my career trajectory? If things don’t work out with my current partner or they aren’t as supportive as I would like them to be, could I do this alone? Am I truly selfless enough to be a parent? Do I understand how permanent being a parent truly is? As someone who is extremely self aware and has to think everything through before making a decision, I’ve realized that there is so much more to parenthood than the matching outfit photos on Instagram. I say all of this to say, don’t let anyone rush you into parenthood or make you feel wrong if you’ve decided that you don’t want to be a mother at all. Thankfully time has evolved to the point that women are finally able to have much more control over their lives and their bodies so do what makes you happy. The world needs more happy moms (and more rich aunties).